Today the kids were outside playing. I noticed I was spotting a little bit which had me worried so I was hanging out in the house taking it easy. Olivia and Ashtyn came in and I asked where Paxton was. Olivia said she didn't know. She usually keeps pretty good tabs on him but with Ashtyn being here, they weren't paying him any attention. I went outside to look for him and couldn't find him anywhere around the house. I came back in the house and looked through all the rooms hoping he had come inside and I didn't notice, but he wasn't here. I ran up to the barn to see if he went up to ride the tractor or see the pigs, and he wasn't there. I ran back down the driveway and told the girls to stay in the house, I was going to check the ILs house. I jumped in the van and drove up and sure enough Paxton was sitting in the wagon on the ILs porch looking at the cats through the screen window. I was so scared he had wandered off into the woods and got lost. I just kept thinking about the stories you hear on the news about toddlers wandering off in the woods. I grabbed Paxton and started crying and brought him home. I had to go to my room and hide so the kids didn't see me lose it. I ended up calling Anna so she could talk me down. I never want to have that feeling again.